Time Heals...
It’s amazing how time is all it takes for the most complex and troubling issues to resolve themselves-on their own, so effortlessly. Yesterday was a very memorable, happy day for me. I got to do something I have been wanting to. Something that I expected would have its moment come years later, instead of now. What’s even more incredible is the fact that it happened under completely different circumstances than I imagined it to and at a time when it was least expected and in every way, very surprising. Shocking. And yet, it couldn’t have gone better than it did-even if it lasted just 5 minutes. It meant So Much. And it was all that I had hoped for.
Sure I am probably hyping up too much for this very small, probably even classifiable as insignificant thing. But to me it was that important that it happened. And thankful and glad that it did. At that moment it felt bigger than life. Forgivness. Acceptance. Faith.
At 11am yesterday I finally got to give a happy ending to something that put me through so much and taught me so much more. I called her. Wished her – both for her birthday and wedding and I she was nothing but incredibly sweet about it and damn nice- considering I am the one person on the planet she probably despised and hated more than anyone else. She probably never even cared but she listened and spoke back. We were best friends, so close, at one stage in some way but it got bad-very bad, after that-well, you know me. It happened in the most civil and friendly way possible and it was nice to know that I can look at her sometime somewhere and smile and talk and be smiled back at and spoken back to, after years of instances like walking past each other within touching distance and not even bothering to glance or look or say hello. It’s good that I can remember the memories that came with it without any regrets and be happy for the person whose inspired me the most to get where I want to be.
More importantly I am past the initial shock and surprise at her getting married at 19. And ya although it scared me at first and made me doubt that she would ever get to fulfilling those dreams she always had, I know now after talking to her that she’s still very much going to do all that. And that’s pretty brilliant. Right? Besides she’s getting the marriage she always wanted-chosen by her parents, a guy who has mystery to discover and hmm who is obviously pretty successful and settled. And ya that’s what makes it all the more right. And special- that she’s so happy.
So again, ya truly believe that time heals. Besides- that’s the hope I got going with every one of my other so called “mistakes” so it had better…will hope.
Sure I am probably hyping up too much for this very small, probably even classifiable as insignificant thing. But to me it was that important that it happened. And thankful and glad that it did. At that moment it felt bigger than life. Forgivness. Acceptance. Faith.
At 11am yesterday I finally got to give a happy ending to something that put me through so much and taught me so much more. I called her. Wished her – both for her birthday and wedding and I she was nothing but incredibly sweet about it and damn nice- considering I am the one person on the planet she probably despised and hated more than anyone else. She probably never even cared but she listened and spoke back. We were best friends, so close, at one stage in some way but it got bad-very bad, after that-well, you know me. It happened in the most civil and friendly way possible and it was nice to know that I can look at her sometime somewhere and smile and talk and be smiled back at and spoken back to, after years of instances like walking past each other within touching distance and not even bothering to glance or look or say hello. It’s good that I can remember the memories that came with it without any regrets and be happy for the person whose inspired me the most to get where I want to be.
More importantly I am past the initial shock and surprise at her getting married at 19. And ya although it scared me at first and made me doubt that she would ever get to fulfilling those dreams she always had, I know now after talking to her that she’s still very much going to do all that. And that’s pretty brilliant. Right? Besides she’s getting the marriage she always wanted-chosen by her parents, a guy who has mystery to discover and hmm who is obviously pretty successful and settled. And ya that’s what makes it all the more right. And special- that she’s so happy.
So again, ya truly believe that time heals. Besides- that’s the hope I got going with every one of my other so called “mistakes” so it had better…will hope.
posted by c at 10:01 AM
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