not The End.

It’s pretty wonderful how much one can learn from watching relationships being made and broken and remade again by being evolved into something beyond what it was. Just recently, I had the opportunity to get to meet and know 2 pretty amazing people who were romantically involved a while back. And wow was it a happy ending that I got to see happen- or rather, a new beginning in the form of forgiveness, acceptance and Friendship.

These 2 are so special cause unlike so many unfortunate souls like me have wanted but not had- they truly, deeply-valued their relationship and SO wanted to work it out then, while it lasted. Both of them did. They were each others first. And ya I consider myself pretty lucky to have got to know them the way I have at this time.

I guess I am a sort of easy person to open up to and it definitely didn’t take these 2 long to tell me about each other without at the beginning even knowing that I knew the person they were talking about and man you got to have been there to know how nice it was to hear some one actually praise their ex much less not talk a single bad thing about him/her. And the best part is they are both pretty over the relationship as such and have no regrets on ending it or intentions of getting back- this sort of works good enough to restore just about anyone’s faith in falling in love after a bad first experience break-up or even in the trust in the opposite sex based on genuine, pure intentions, rarely seen nowadays and that to me is a miracle to look forward to.

Until The X.

Mitsubishi Lancer Evo XI - saw 1 gracing Chennai road's today in exactly the same colour..parked right outside my house and fell madly in love with it

C @ 1988-89

I never really expected that preparing my very first CV was going to bring me back so much memory’s or make me feel proud of myself. I mean come on this is supposed to be actual serious work and I least expected to turn out to be quite the fun experience it turned out to be. The most interesting part was when mom showed me my pre-kg report card and man was I quite a kid in my childhood days (ya, I know being 20 does make me seem Very old). This isn’t about self praise but hey I have proof!

Apparently I was this 96.5cms height guy who weighed 14.5 kg and gained 1.5 kg and grew 10cms by the time I completed my very first year of education at WCC. I seemed to have been quite a good kid who enjoyed playing on the cycle and jungle gym. Had a good activity level, ate slowly but well and never wasted food. I was also a very clean kid who did neat work. Was regular and punctual to school too.

My teachers describe me as a happy well-developed and cheerful child and rated my emotional maturity and oral expression-good. My dominant personality traits imply I was shy but on the whole very affectionate, social and friendly. I was very choosy about my playmates and synced well with everyone. I was, not surprisingly – an independent, talented, affectionate and quite child- though a trifle shy, a well behaved student.

My language skills imply I was fluent in both English and Tamil and learnt and tried to use a lot of new words. I incidentally also was an attentive student in class and had a good memory power. Also says that I was an enthusiastic participant in the school play and animal song and executed my role well. My special skills and abilities list me as being very musically inclined and great at art.

And ya I am still very much almost all of those.

Me, My Car, The Beach.

With 2 of my Favorite Things.

The One......

Have you ever wondered about finding the one? Your One. The one person on the planet destined to own you and for you to own and end up with Forever. For life . I mean ya growing up we read of these fairytale stories, watch these happily ever after ending movies see these happy ending instances around us and it’s maybe even human enough to dream or rather imagine/picture/wish for/hope for probably even pray that you meet that special someone, go all out and make a complete fool of yourself doing everything you possibly can taking so much pain and effort to win her (or him) over and have that miracle happen to you by making that special some yours to keep for all eternity-to make them smile.. laugh.. be there when they cry.. hold them.. have them as your strength and support… and end up Happy- making dreams come true, having good happen to yourself and treasuring those moments.

But in reality life and love aren’t as sweet or picture perfect as we would like for them to be and if it did happen that one first time if it worked if it lasted and is lasting, well that’s a special and you are damn lucky - Do everything you possibly can do to hang on to it. Always…cause it’s more than worth it. I-for my part, have seen enough breakups, crush’s and conflicts to myself and to others that I know. And have been through hard enough times to be tempted to give up and lose heart. But then again, I believe in faith and destiny and yet let that hope live inside me that my special someone is out there waiting and will let me find her at the right time.

Finding that Special Someone, Your One- isn’t something that should hold you back from making a life for yourself or letting it rule you. It’s about making the mistake of miserably failing, wrong choices and learning on from them and discovering yourself and what you want. It’s about letting go of the old and moving on with the new-the better. I for one believe that when a person likes another they do so no matter what. The biggest mistakes will seem forgivable and insignificant. But if they don’t like a person well than they just don’t – no matter what that person may try to say or do to remove that dislike and well – the smallest innocent slip-up will seem deliberate and unforgivable.

True love-i think, is about holding on to something amazing for every second while it lasted,, remembering those precious moments.. learning from the bad.. letting go of the most difficult and fighting on to stay strong. To me, its about growing up, learning life.. being in control and having the faith and confidence in yourself to make yourself happy no matter what that takes. It's about Hope and about Belief. It's about remembering those moments, holding on to those good memories and learning from the bad. Love is about Mystery, Faith and Knowing what you have is special enough to want for it to last.

It doesn't really have to be said or expressed so long as it can b felt by both. And it can be felt in the simplest of ways- just by waking up with a smile on the face knowing, staring into each others eyes meaninglessly or just talking all-night and not realising it.

Finding the one is therfore not just about going out there and looking but simply about waiting... knowing she/he is out there and Waiting..

-! ! ! ! !-

This post comes a little late even though i typed it out long back, just now got around to finishing it and posting. Somehow never got around to ending it right but i figured will post it anyway. Reminds me that i should really complete stuff i start writing then and there cause it gets too old to post sometimes. I am sorry that it came out kinda long and serious-like. v-day special-not too happy with it but wil relate back to it later in full...when i feel like. (-Post To Be Completed Later-)

heR.

Ever had some who cared about you so much that you wonder if it’s illegal that you don’t think about her enough? That if you fell asleep worrying you knew she would visit you in your dreams just to make you smile and wake up stronger the next day, even if you cant reach out and touch her, even see her or hear her as instant as you would want to- you Know she would be There. waiting. knowing. and holding you. hanging on strong.

Cause, I have. And I am pretty thankful to God that she exists on this planet to look after me, take care of me, love me, cherish me, and respect me for who I am to her and the world beyond. And if there is a word I value beyond a friend I would use it right now to imply-Only heR. She lives a zillion miles away, so far but yet fighting and staying strong. & being unbelievable patient and tolerating me, beyond all hell, despite Everything we have seen and been through (which is A Lot) together. She’s one of the most perfect person I know on the planet and I owe her So SO Much and I can’t imagine having survived the last few years without her by my side… well not physically but still.. I could feel it and she keeps letting me know it-over and over.

For all are fighting and the differences of opinion on pretty much everything, the exact opposite people that we are- it’s pretty unbelievable that we are still lasting and pretty safe at that. She’s such a brilliant person that she comes through for me every time when I most need her and I must give her due credit for making me do pretty unbelievable things and pushing me hard to fight and survive, do well even. I really don’t think I can ask for a more perfect relationship with a more perfect person than heR and I am looking forward to an eternal association with heR-not that she really has a choice.

//To heR, my strength. my inspiration. my bestEST friend.//

The Reason-Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learningI never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

Netru..Indru..Naalai..

It finally happened. And boy it was well worth the wait. The show absolutely rocked, exceeding expectations by milestones. Trust Mani Ratham to really know how to entertain people and with a team that included the likes of Vasanth, Rajiv Menon and Sabu Cyril to efficiently help organize and run the show what more can one expect. And what better audience than a crowd of 20,000 cheering them on that included so many celebrities and artists from film and tv. The long drive to Jeppiar Engineering College and the hour and something long delay waiting for the show to start was so totally worth it and am I glad I made it with VIP passes to sit at the very front amidst the famous people. It did get a little annoying with repetitive ads on the screen and the long wait to the start with people pouring in until the very last minute… but ya what a crowd!

The programme opened with Revathy on the screen talking about The Banyan-foundation for destitute women and the work they are involved with. It was divided into 3 segments showcasing the evolution of film music over time in the past, present and the future. The artists of the evening amongst others, included Shaam, Abbas, Vineeth and of course Shriya.

The first part started with the drum dance from Chandralekha and had a host of performers dancing to the tune of songs from yesteryear and the sets, artwork and lighting was fantastic and it all looked so original- straight from the actual movies. Must really appreciate the tremendous effort at detail put in by the organisers. Prakash Raj was just hilarious in his green costume- I doubt I can ever look at him as a scary villain again after the way he danced around looking so funny yesterday for the song Yaradi Nee Mohini. And man it was quite a surprise how they managed to bring a car on stage and drive it across for Viswanathan Velaivendum.

It resumed after a short break to the songs of the movies of the present phase with Blaze singing a fast paced number on Netru Indru Naalai and then Shobana’s dance and things got very interesting here on. Simbu played a very close Rajini and dancing to Rakamma with Simran and later Thillana Thillana wit the very pretty Reema Sen. Man, can the guy dance or what! The most exiting part of the evening though was Shilpa Shetty sizzling the audience with Chaiyya Chaiyya (Vivek Oberoi couldn’t make it- they put some other guy as substitute) and it was quite a shock to the audience when they even managed to bring a train (or rather a close imitation of one) on to stage to replay the original theme of the song. And how can I forget the biggest star present there was none other than Kamal Hassan who had the crowd spellbound when he sang the very melodious song-Thenpandi Cheemailey. This was followed by a Banyan theme song with a video presentation for which the music was composed by none other than AR Rahman.

The shortest segment of the evening, probably what we all wanted more of was restricted due to the time constraint considering it was already close to midnight and so the show was wrapped up in a medley of the most popular film song hits of today starting with a Ganesh idol being danced with on stage and then followed by Fanna, Appadi Podu, Sa Re Ga Ma (which had Manikandan- who didn’t dance in the movie, and Genilia dancing) and then Uyirin Uyire, Madurai, Theridi Veediyil (from Run –starring Maddy) , Manmathanae (Simbu again with the extremely cute Diya) and last but not least Remo. The show finally ended wit all the artists performing together and for the grand finale- forming a human Banyan tree, the symbol of the organization Banyan-in aid of which the show was held for. All the artists and dancers walked on stage and the ever charismatic Madhavan took the mike and thanked all those responsible who had worked towards making the show a reality and success.

Overall, it was a brilliant show and where else can you get to see a stage where the performers manage to bring a cycle, a rickshaw, a bike, a car, a mock ship and even a pretty realistic working train on to stage and recreate scenes straight out of the actual film’s setting- the fruit of months of hard work and contribution from a whole lot of dedicated people who deserve credit. Do catch it on tv due March, first week. It totally compensated for the disappointment in not being able to make it to the Bryan Adams concert at Bangalore this weekend and was on the whole- a night worth remembering for a very long time.

Dream Wheels!!!

The Mercedes CLS.



isn't she Perfect?

Time Heals...

It’s amazing how time is all it takes for the most complex and troubling issues to resolve themselves-on their own, so effortlessly. Yesterday was a very memorable, happy day for me. I got to do something I have been wanting to. Something that I expected would have its moment come years later, instead of now. What’s even more incredible is the fact that it happened under completely different circumstances than I imagined it to and at a time when it was least expected and in every way, very surprising. Shocking. And yet, it couldn’t have gone better than it did-even if it lasted just 5 minutes. It meant So Much. And it was all that I had hoped for.

Sure I am probably hyping up too much for this very small, probably even classifiable as insignificant thing. But to me it was that important that it happened. And thankful and glad that it did. At that moment it felt bigger than life. Forgivness. Acceptance. Faith.

At 11am yesterday I finally got to give a happy ending to something that put me through so much and taught me so much more. I called her. Wished her – both for her birthday and wedding and I she was nothing but incredibly sweet about it and damn nice- considering I am the one person on the planet she probably despised and hated more than anyone else. She probably never even cared but she listened and spoke back. We were best friends, so close, at one stage in some way but it got bad-very bad, after that-well, you know me. It happened in the most civil and friendly way possible and it was nice to know that I can look at her sometime somewhere and smile and talk and be smiled back at and spoken back to, after years of instances like walking past each other within touching distance and not even bothering to glance or look or say hello. It’s good that I can remember the memories that came with it without any regrets and be happy for the person whose inspired me the most to get where I want to be.

More importantly I am past the initial shock and surprise at her getting married at 19. And ya although it scared me at first and made me doubt that she would ever get to fulfilling those dreams she always had, I know now after talking to her that she’s still very much going to do all that. And that’s pretty brilliant. Right? Besides she’s getting the marriage she always wanted-chosen by her parents, a guy who has mystery to discover and hmm who is obviously pretty successful and settled. And ya that’s what makes it all the more right. And special- that she’s so happy.

So again, ya truly believe that time heals. Besides- that’s the hope I got going with every one of my other so called “mistakes” so it had better…will hope.